Hateful

Recently, I was invited to participate in an academic discussion "Is there a difference between hate speech and hateful free speech." I did not participate because I believe there has been too much focus on the feeling (hate) and not on the words themselves (facts).

When there is a difference of option it is not necessarily hateful it's just an alternative paradigm rooted in another belief. For something to be "hateful" there must be intent involved. There must be a desire to cause hurt or harm against the other. I would love to talk about the difference between hate speech and the freedom to speak, which may or may not involve hate.

When Hate Laws went into effect decades ago they imposed additional fines and penalties for people who committed crimes against a person or population based on race, ethnicity, gender, religion, or any of the other socially protected classes. The crime had to specify the reason for the destructive behavior (burning of a building, vandalism, graffiti, etc) to have the add-on allegation of a hate crime. Examples would be cross burning on someone's front yard, vandalism to churches and synagogues, racial graffiti on someone's home, and other types of property damages. Recently, threats of physical harm and murder have elevated the process of carrying out the hate crime. These "hate crimes" are prosecuted in a court of law in addition to the original crime committed and in every case there must be a specific (overt or covert) intent to that protected class. Without specificity the original crime is still prosecuted, but it is not classified as a hate crime.

Today, the word "hate" is being thrown around as a defensive weapon against anyone who has an opposing thought or perspective. This is destroying the opportunity to learn from each other or to gain insight for problem solving. When one person proposes a solution and demands another follow their directions without any resistance the second is being bullied into compliance and conformity without collaboration. In other words, going along to get along does not mean they agree. More and more people are going along with the narrative but are either blindly following, fear being bullied, or have a fear of missing out (FOMO) by not being included. When any particular group meets resistance or an alternative perspective tbere is a tendency to go on the offensive and accuse another than to not complying is the same as being "hateful". But in many cases, someone speaking the truth comes from a place of love not hate.

When a parent stops a child from running into the street they are doing so because they love the child and want to protect them.

When someone has a perspective that is in opposition to another, to seek understanding does not make someone hateful.

When a child is upset that a parent will not let them do something, the child may say, "I hate you!" Usually, the parent takes their child's level of maturity into consideration and will tell the child to go to their room or they are on restriction. The parent knows the child will "get over" their anger and life will return to normal. When society acts like a child, it is showing it's lack of maturity as well. Soon, as with all foolish things, some people will get tired of marching, preaching, and spewing hate and will leave the crowd. Others who thrive on chaos, will find some new issue to ignite. These instigators bring no value to society and intentionally tear it down because they are full of hate. They cause division and isolation and hate unity and peace. They need to be at the center of attention and in front of the crowd. They are truly the ones who are hate-full.

What should you do when you find yourself in this predicament? First, listen. What is the point the other is trying to make. If you disagree with their idea, concepts, interpretations, or understandings, ask yourself this, "Will they be receptive to my comments or are they only interested in stating their position. If they are open to a dialog, ask them to explain further. When you have heard their position, identify what you are in agreement with first. This builds connection. Then ask them to explain further the issue(s) that you're having trouble with. If you find that there is a specific area of disagreement, agree to disagree and move on. 90% of all disagreements have areas both parties agree upon. It's the 10% that we can't agree upon that leads to destruction of relationships, property, and lives.

If you'd like to learn how to live intentional, check out my book of the same name: Live Intention. Live the life you always wanted, but never believed you could. Available at Barns and Noble, Amazon, and iTunes https://www.christianfaithpublishing.com/books/?book=live-intentional